How to Create a Marriage Goal You’ll Actually Achieve

When couples come to me, they often say, “We want more intimacy… more joy… more connection.” These are beautiful goals. But without a clear path forward, they stay stuck in “someday.”

Here’s the secret to real change: vision + small steps = transformation.

Step 1: Envision Your Marriage at Its Best
Take a moment together and ask:

• What would it feel like to truly thrive together?

• What do we want more of? (Laughter? Prayer? Physical connection?)

• What are our shared dreams as a couple?

Step 2: Make a Plan That Serves the Dream
Maybe it’s committing to weekly date nights, attending a marriage retreat, or praying together before bed. Break big dreams into small, consistent steps.

Step 3: Focus on Today’s Target
Your daily choices are shaping your marriage right now. Ask yourself:

• Did I show love today?

• Did I choose patience when I felt frustrated?

• Did we make time for each other?

A Helpful Practice: “Don’t Break the Chain”
Just like writer Jerry Seinfeld, create a calendar and mark an “X” each day you meet your target. Watch the chain grow—and let that visual momentum keep you going.

If You Miss a Day?
Extend grace. Start again. Love isn't linear—it’s a journey, one sacred step at a time.

Let your daily “yes” to each other become the bricks that build a marriage of strength and joy. And remember: God delights in your desire to love more deeply. Keep going. You’re on holy ground.